Uncaged melody...

I utterly forgot to mention one hideous and hilarous detail of Thanksgiving. So I ordered my turkey from the aforementioned Larry's Market. I had the choice of a free-range, hormone and antibiotic-free turkey, the same from California (la di da) OR - the Northwest Natural, a turkey without all the hype. All I really cared about was that my turkey not be injected with a saline solution, a la Butterball, so I went with the cheaper Northwest Natural. All was fine until I drove the turkey home (named her Midge, by the way), and unwrapped her. Midge was a wee bit gimpy. Her right wing was fine, but her left wing terminated in a stub halfway down. It was hard to tell if this was a congenital anomaly, or if Midge was a fightin' turkey (Rizzo, perhaps?). Of course, all I could think of was the fact that Midge was raised in a cage, probably with dozens of other turkeys, and perhaps one day after feeding time, Farmer John tried to close the cage, but found that there was no room for Midge's wingtip. Can't you just see it, a huge cage stuffed with turkeys all topsy-turvy, Farmer John beating back the birds with a broom or an upturned stool? ("Back, back, ye turkeys!") Ultimately, Midge in toto wouldn't fit, so Farmer John got the clippers and snip, there it went. All I can say is that it was a good thing I didn't have my heart set on the magazine cover-caliber turkey presentation. And next year, I'll spring for that imported bird - la turkey. Or is it, L.A. Turkey?